The idea is that this gets passed on, and used when people are inviting people to their own party. Let's go worldwide.

My party rules

Invitation categories


Being invited is required, but not enough.

If you didn't tell me you were coming, then you probably won't have a seat. I may be gracious and let you in, or I may have to say “great you could come, pity you can't stay.”

Limited Party

If you're not invited, bugger off.

Expanded party

Invite list and associates... if you're thinking "I'd like to ask if this person can come, but don't want to pressure the host into inviting them," then they can probably come.

Extended Party

This means you have to know the hosts, or at least know someone who is at the party who can introduce you to them. This is on a case by case basis. If no one from the party knows you but someone gives you a recommendation and they were going to be at the party but ended up being unable to come, that's okay. BUT if you don't know anyone from a bar of soap, you better be clean but homeless if you want to stay. (Not literally of course, but you get the idea)

Open Party

This means anyone can come, subject to their abiding by the rules.
If you know there's a party and you can find it... you've welcome. If you didn't know there was a party and just happened to hear the music... you're welcome. If you were looking for someone else's house and accidentally turned up here... you're welcome (though I advise you tell the others that you're going to be late.) If you're gatecrashing, same rules still apply as for everyone else.

Capped Party

This simply puts a population limit on the party. (Approximate) This is probably due to noise regulations, the size of the venue or the fact that it's focused on stuff for a particular size... you won't be turned away, but it will be made known to the party when we were intending on 25 and there are 100 there. You can stay or go; it's up to you.

Alcohol rules

Personally I do drink alcohol, but I don't drink to excess. I don't like the taste of beer, wine or dark spirits. (E.g. whisky) If you're intending on bringing stuff I might drink, then something like Cruisers, Breezers or Baileys would be a good option.
Remember: drink in moderation. And these 'alkie' rules are both literal and in spirit. So while you will have leeway, don't push it.


If you bring alcohol, it better be in a first aid kit.


We may have alcohol there, it may be gotten throughout the party, but all provisions are subject to approval by host/coordinator alone.

Provided Only

If it's there, it's available, but no the only transport of alcohol in or out of the premises is via blood or bladder.

Provided Plus

I’ll bring some. (Probably beer...) If you have delicate tastes or want more… you can splurge. Don't go overboard.

B. Y. O.

Standard idea... if you want it, buy it yourself.

Slosh Fest

Bring what you want, I might even provide some of my own...; I probably won't drink, coz I’ll be too busy laughing at you while you're drunk. But that's part of the fun isn’t it? BTW, my friends are big fans of Sharpie permanent markers (so if you pass out)... you've been warned...

Food plans

These aren't hardlined rules; I just don't want people eating the furniture.


Eat first, or get a staple. We might have a monk on the premises and food will tempt him to submit to the darkness. He might go ninja on you…
Or it might just be that we have a guest who has just come out of chemo and the smell might provoke them to turn your clothes Technicolour.

Pitch In

We don't have anything provided really, (maybe nibbles...) we're gonna put our wallets and purses together and order pizza or something.

Pot Luck

Dinner date. Bring enough food for you and your crew, plus a little extra for those who can't afford (or can't cook). Make sure it's something you can safely eat (non-toxic, and fits in with any gluten/peanut/yucky veggies issues.)If there's trouble making/bringing food, then let me know and I'll see what I can do.

Nibble Fest

We want snacks, nibbles, chips, dips, finger food, bite sizes, all the bits and pieces. There'll probably be enough to make a meal, albeit an unhealthy one.

Assisted (special note)

This is a suffix (added on after) for food. (And sometimes grog) It means that though food will be provided, due to external circumstances (i.e. lack of funds coz I'm poor, don't have the time to prepare, too many people for it to be reasonable to provide, couldn't be stuffed doing it myself) it would be appreciated if you could please assist by providing a little for the party. If you look closely at the different options for the plans, you should notice that this is usually inferred for or against anyway, so it shouldn't come up unless it needs to be emphasised.


This is where the rubber hits the road as far as what will help make a fun night and what will help make your backside sore with a foot's imprint on it from when you are kicked off the property.

Smoking is not considered a social activity. If you must smoke, do it where you're not putting it into someone else's lungs. It's fine to kill yourself, but no murder allowed.

Be nice. It's not your sandpit so you have to learn how to play with the other kiddies.

Try to mingle. If you only talk to those you already know, you spoil the opportunity the rest have for you to brighten their world.

Smile. It makes better photos.

NO NOOKIE. This is a party, not a brothel. And we didn't turn up just to watch you. No seriously, it's pointless going to a party of more than you two if all you're going to do is spend time with them. If it's just you two, get a room or a table at a restaurant. If it's the background noise you want, stay home and turn on the TV. If it's the people, go to a bar or a train station. What you’re really saying to us isn't I'd love to be part of the party but (s)he’s really important to me, you're saying it's nice that you're all here, but we don't really care about you and your party.
Plus, it makes all us single folk jealous.

If you're under the reign of parents, appreciate the fact they're still looking out for you, and go home when they want you to. If you're still here next week and they're starting to get annoyed you haven't come home, you're outta here. This also means if you're not allowed, I'd rather you not pull me into family spats by coming…

I'm not afraid to call the cops if you cause too much trouble. They probably knew about the party in advance, (a good idea to inform cops if you're planning a party; it gets them on your side before anything goes wrong. (It's a lot harder to after the fan's gotten clogged from too much 'you-know-what' hitting it.)

.. ..

Respect the equipment. It will last longer, and so will you.

.. ..

Respect the neighbours, they may want to sleep, or at least hear the movie they're watching. And that pilot flying overhead probably wants to hear what the Air Traffic Control is telling him, keep the noise down.

.. ..

These rules are not for control-freak purposes, they're so everyone gets to have fun.

.. ..


I’ve been told this is confusing, and I don't quite understand why...

  1. Maybe it's because I included it with the invite. From now on, the invites will be simpler; i.e. "Limited - Slosh Fest - Nibble Fest” or “Extended - Teetotaller - Pot Luck". Then there'll be a link to this page.
  2. Maybe you're offended/put off by the way this list is worded; I'm sure you would have trouble remembering the last list of rules you read… maybe because it was BORING. I hope this one isn't, and you will make it to the end before you stop reading it, and then it'll stick in your mind after.
  3. Maybe because you've never met me and don't get where I'm coming from. If this is the case, try reading it with a smirk, or holding a rubber chicken in one hand.
  4. Maybe it's too long for you… if this is the longest thing you've ever read; get someone to translate it to you in mime/cartoon form. Then get your SpongeBob backpack and go get a colouring book from the library. :-p
  5. Some bits are ambiguous, I get it. But they're not the important bits, they're the extra stuff. So quit complaining. Just so you know, (and to answer someone's issue,) I didn't mean that the room and the restaurant table were for the same purpose. (Ewwwww!)
  6. It may be hard to tell the difference between two different options, (e.g. extended versus expanded,) but if you are willing to think then it shouldn't be too hard… if you're not sure, you can always contact me. I'll be happy to help.

If some of these rules don't apply, or you don't like, feel free just to say so. (For instance, if you were Emo, you might say “Expanded, B.Y.O., Pitch In, but smiling is not allowed. And I'd apologise to the emo community for this joke, but since you probably think I don't care, than you probably wouldn't believe any apology I made, so I won't bother.)

.. ..

This rule list is for anyone's use; that was the point. If no one uses it, I'll be kinda bummed. If you have any queries/comments/complaints, feel free to let me know. And it’d be great if I knew how many people were using this list, so lemme know how your party went.




Cruisers, Breezers, Baileys and Sharpie are registered trademarks of their respective companies.